going it alone

With my other half away for the past three nights, I have noticed something about my parenting that I find fascinating.

Left to my own devises, I seem to be able to get everything done all while remaining more calm than usual. I think there are a several reasons for this.

Getting things done:

  • when alone, I’m not waiting for or telling someone else to help out with dinner/dishes/bath time etc. This saves quite some time and the kids get to bed earlier than normal
  • when there is no other option, I don’t feel the same resentment about having to do these chores

Staying calm:

  • there is no-one else to blame for things not being done, so unless I rant at myself there is no ranting
  • having no ‘back up’ during tantrums (from the kids) means that I have to stay more calm. Usually I can walk away and let someone else deal with things if I need to, but with just me there, I am very aware of the need to be the grown up

Now that my other half is back, I will try to stick to being my calmer self. Perhaps it’s not as difficult as it seems?

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3 thoughts on “going it alone

  1. I'm the same, Nicole. I actually think that's why I loved living on my own for 5 years before Adrian and I got together – if anything was dirty/left out/noisy it was my fault so I couldn't really complain… Having said that I am very jealous of you having Oliver home at meal times. i get so bored on my own!

  2. I know how lucky I am to have a partner at home during the crazy hours from 5 to bedtime! I know if I had to I could do it (and most efficiently) but am glad that I don't have to most of the time!

  3. I'm the same. Tom is usually home for the bath/dinner/bed routine, and when he's not I hate it, but I am more efficient alone than we are as a team. Maybe because he's more playful with them (having not seen them all day) than i am at that time of night? I often catch myself grinding my teeth and thinking "hurry up, I wanna get this over with!" I have to remind myself that playful is good and it's important that Tom gets to do things his way sometimes too. So I take myself off and wash the dishes in peace while he does story time and teeth brushing. Its better than hovering impatiently over them and spoiling the moment.

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